I am lonely

I live alone. I am not single. I am not a widower. I just live alone. My wife works in a country thousand of miles away from where I live. My children are studying and they too are away from home. I have a very regular desk job. I finish my work on time and sometimes I wish I didn’t because I don’t know what to do when I get home. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping and still find time to do nothing. Unfortunately for me I am a peoples person. I don’t like to read books or watch television by myself. So when I am bored, I go out to shop for my wife or my children. Is that weird?

Because when I buy something for my wife, my friends ask me why I do that as I won’t be seeing her for a very long time. I do it because I don’t know what else to do. When I offer a ride home to my colleagues, they look at me like I am interested in them. It is not so. How do I tell them I am only looking to talk with someone other than me?

I can’t offer someone a drink at my place because no one will come. All the men my age have families around so they wouldn’t come either and I can’t ask a woman out for reasons known only to men. One look is nasty, one talk makes me a perv, one touch is sexual advance.

In the past when I lived with my wife, I had a life. The children were home. The families were around and the friends would drop by too. Life was too busy to get any time for myself and now I have all the time but nothing else…

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