Gadget De-addiction

I  was excited to head back home. Though I was not finished with business meetings in Dubai, my tickets had been booked previously, so I chose to go home. My partner at home and work, had to stay back for couple of days.  We had let our parents watch the children while we were away. That was the only trouble when we both had to go to the same meetings outside our home town.

Since the both of them are quite a handful, we didn’t want to tax only one set of grandparents. So they stayed with my husband’s parents for the first two days and with my parents the next couple of days.

We had picked their favourite toys from the China pavilion in Global Village. The toy store was stacked from floor to roof with remake LOL dolls and Marvel accessories. We had also picked their favourite candies from the candy store. The sour vines, berry flavoured Nerds and gum balls. I had picked enough to let them share it with their friends.

My husband asked me to stay back because we were not nearly finished with meeting all our prospective clients. We run a startup software company. Additionally it was weekend in Dubai so there was after work plans to visit some happening places in town but I still chose to head back home so I could be with the children.

As expected when I reached home, both the children pushed each other to hug me first. They clung to me for 30 seconds before darting in the direction of my bags. They screamed in delight when they both got what they wanted but then something terrible happened. A few minutes after unpacking the toys and all the candy bags, they headed straight back to what they were doing before I got home. “Netflix”. My face ran out of blood. I stood there thinking what had I done to them? No. I didn’t blame them. I blamed me. We had taken the subscription for Netflix and we had let them watch it. What had started as a treat to them when they had behaved had turned into an addiction. I bit my own tongue and I was filled with guilt. That night I slept late with all the thoughts. I was sad and deeply hurt.

The next morning I was up early even though I was tired. I had a message from my friend that she was taking her children on a weekend trip to the beaches. I had not replied to her. It was Friday and a school day. I did my laundry, tidied the house and woke the children up. “Do you want to go to Goa instead of school?”,I asked them. They couldn’t believe if I was tricking them. They expected me to spank them if they replied with a yes. I could see how they saw me with the night dreams still floating on their eye lids.

Disclaimer: I’m not advising anyone to take a day off from school to do a trip.

But I needed to do this even though I was too tired to be on the road for 5 hours. I had to get everything in my mind in order and for that I needed some time. I messaged my friend to wait for us. She had her two children with her in her car. We loaded our bags and left. The first one hour we brain stormed. We were in the same boat. I had a fair idea from all the thinking I had done in the night before about what I had to say and my friend agreed.

Here’s what we said to all the 4 children:

1. This is not a fun trip. This is a family time trip. We are going to fix everything going wrong in our lives.

2. I came straight to the point. NO Netflix, NO mobile phones, NO Laptops for the duration of the stay and also after we go back home. (I can’t believe TV remotes come with a button dedicated to Netflix and Youtube)

3. We need to take time together as a family even after we get back. We will spend half hour everyday together to nurture any one hobby that we all have within us. I promised I would spend that half hour too, either painting or writing.

4. All the four children would also need to spend one hour everyday with their school books even if it meant reading them like story books. They were free to do any school work.

This was agreed upon by all and needless to say the three days by the beach flew. We spent it eating Nutella toast, drinking watermelon juice and just soaking in the sea. No phones. No pictures. This was easy. We had to have a plan once we got back home. 

(My husband flew in from Dubai to Goa and my friend’s husband was already there on work) 

Its three days since we got back home and so far the children have stuck to the timetable we laid out for them.

Our 10 year old daughter had a tear when I made her sit with her books today. I didn’t mind. The tear too never made it down her cheek.

Our younger one, had severe withdrawal symptoms today. He screamed, he cried. He threw things he could grab(luckily I don’t have anything precious lying around). I remained calm. It took me 23 pages of reading Gerenimo Stilton to him, followed by a complete game of Pictionary. I didn’t give up. It didn’t seem easy but we sailed through the rough seas together. At the end, I gave him a hug and he returned it.

I know this is not going to be easy. Any kind of habit takes at least 21 days to leave I have heard. We have counted 6 so far. 15 more to go! 

If you are facing similar situations at home, maybe its time you revisited your family life like we did ours.  

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